10 Surefire Ways To Live Below Your Full Potential
10种埋没才能的生活方式

Do you know that most people never utilize more than 0.1% of their true potential in their lifetime?
你可知道，很多人一辈子也没发挥出他们真正潜能的0.1%这么多.

It’s true.  The thing is, human potential is unlimited.  Unlike computers, you’ll never come across a situation where your brain says the hard drive is full.  You can constantly push your limits, reaching greater heights, only to find that you’re not even reaching a fraction of your true worth!  Believe it or not, you harness more power than you can ever imagine.
事实就是如此，人类的潜能是无限的。人脑不像电脑，大脑的"硬盘"永远不会不够用。你可以持续地提高你的极限，努力达到更高的目标，最后你会发现，你也只是发挥了一点点潜能而已。毋须质疑，你限制了自己不可估量的潜能。

Unfortunately, many do not utilize their true potential, and lay it to waste by engaging in tasks that are a poor use of their time and energy.  Here are 10 sure-fire ways to live below your true potential:
不幸地是，许多人无法发挥所有的潜能，还把发挥的潜能放在一些浪费时间精力的工作上。以下列举出10种保证让你高能低用的生活习惯：

1.Harp on the past instead of focusing on the present.
1.总是旧事重提，而不着眼当下。

Some people spend their lives living in the past.  They lament about what has been, what they could have done, and why they didn’t do that.  However, the past is the past, and no matter how much time we spend thinking and lamenting about it, it doesn’t change anything.  To spend time moping about what has been is to waste the person you can be.
有些人总是活在过去的时光里。他们为时过境迁而悲伤，为曾经的辉煌而伤神，为未竟的事业而悔恨。但是，过去已然过去，无论我们用了多久来哀叹，它也不会有任何改变。浪费时间为了过去的事情而郁郁寡欢，会毁掉本来的你。

There were times in the past when I wondered how things would have been if I did X instead of Y.  Or if I did Z instead of Y.  However, after that I’d ask myself, "How would this change anything?"  Me sitting here and thinking about the past does absolutely nothing to change things and improve my life.  Instead, it is only by thinking forward and taking action that I’m able to live a truly fulfilling life.
在过去,有些时候我也会想如果我做了这件事而没做那件事，结果会怎样。可之后，我便会问自己，"这会做何改变么？"我坐在这，沉浸在往日时光中，完全无法改变什么，也不能让我的生活更好。而只有一心向前并积极行动，我才会过拥有一个真正有意义的生活。

What kind of future do you want to create?  What actions can you take to create this ideal future?  What have you learned from the past that will help you in this journey?  Asking and acting on questions like these will help you to maximize your present moment so you can live your best life going forward.  For some practical guidance on living in the present, I recommend The Power of Now.
你想要什么样的未来？你想做些什么来得到这个理想生活？你从过去得到了什么教训可以助你一路前行？探索并实践这样的问题，就会帮助你延伸当下的一刻，你会向前并得到美好的生活。如果想得到更多关于如何活在当下的建议，请参阅《The Power of Now》一书。

2.Get caught up in the details vs. the big picture.
2.为琐事发愁VS.着眼大局。

If you’re a perfectionist, you might find yourself caught up with perfecting details on a regular basis.  If so, you’re not alone - I’m the same way.  I spend a lot of time editing the nitty-gritty, so that everything can be perfect and the way I envision it to be.  For example in my articles, I can spend an hour or more looking for the perfect photo that expresses the exact intention of my article.  I can spend hours just improving my blog and forums so that my readers can get the perfect experience.
如果你是一个完美主义者，你会发觉自己经常在处理一些小细节。如果这样，你也不是一个人在  这么做，我也是这样的。我会用许多时间在编辑些基本的事实，然后所有的事情都会是完美无暇的，也会按是我设想的那样呈现出来。比如说，在我的文章里，我会花费一个小时或者更多的时间去寻找最匹配的照片，这些照片会准确地表达出文章的旨意。我会耗费几个小时去打理我的博客和论坛，所以读者们在阅读时会感觉非常棒。

However, I have come to realize that by spending all my time on the details, I’m not making the best use of my time.  According to the 80/20 principle, 80% of the results we can achieve comes from 20% of our actions.  In trying to achieve the remaining 20% to get the perfect 100% outcome, we have to spend 80% more effort!
但终究我却意识到，我确实在这些小细节上十分用心，可是我并没有最好地利用时间。根据80/20原则，80%的结果得益于20%的时间。为了得到最后的20%结果以达到完美的100%，我们必须要耗费80%这么多的努力！

Some of us may think that we should do everything to achieve the best outcome.  While I agree with this, it fails to hold true outside of certain situational contexts.  For example, while it may be gratifying to get the best picture for each blog article, the extra time spent looking for that best picture prevents me from working on higher value tasks, such as writing new books or creating new challenges for my readers.  It goes without saying that one hour spent on the latter adds more value than one hour spent looking for a picture.
有些人也许觉得我们应该竭尽全力以达到最好的目标。我虽然也赞同这一点，可是这点在某些情况下并不奏效。比如说，虽然为每篇博客配一张完美的图确实令人庆幸，可是为了这而花费的时间却阻止了我做更大价值的工作，比如写一本新书或者为我的读者带来更多的挑战。后者的价值要高于寻找一张图片，这点不言而喻。

By looking at the big picture, it helps you realize what does matter and what doesn’t so that you can then channel your energy accordingly.  The Gifts of Imperfection is a good read on this topic.
着眼大局可以帮助你看清什么更重要，然后你可以根据重要性重新分配精力。在《The Gift of Imperfection》一书中会有更好的诠释。

3.Let yourself be affected by minor issues.
3.被小事所影响。

Sometimes we may be affected by a hurtful comment or discouraged by a small setback.  While these emotions are justified, often times these events are insignificant in the long run.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: "Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  5 years?  10 years?  30  years?"  If not, then it’s probably not worth your energy to think about these things.  Concentrate on things that do matter in the long run instead.
有些时候我们也许会被一个伤人的言论所影响，或者一个小挫折而阻碍。虽然产生的情绪是正常的，可是在长远来看这些事情通常并不重要。一种去检验这个事情是否值得去想的方法就是问自己："一年后我还会在意这个事情么？三年后呢？五年后呢？甚至十年后和三十年后呢？"如果答案是否定的话，那这件事就很可能并不值得你的精力去思考这件事情。把注意力集中在那些长远来看很重要的事情上吧。

4.Blame others for your plight.
4.将你的苦境归咎于别人。

Is there anything you’re blaming others for in your life?  Are you blaming the economy for not getting the job you want?  Your parents for giving you "fat" genes?  Your boss for your workload?  The world for lack of opportunities around you?  The universe for not giving you the life of your dreams?
在生活中有没有什么事情，你总是归咎于别人的问题？你是否会因没有理想的工作而责怪经济环境的不佳？责备你的父母给你遗传的"胖子"基因？指责你的上司给你的工作负担？或者谴责这个世界不给你多一些机会？还有这个宇宙没有为你营造一个梦想中的人生？

The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame someone/something for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility.  You give others power over that part of your life.  For example, if you blame your parents for your obesity, you’ll continue to remain obese because in your mind they are the reason why you’re obese.  You’ll never have the power to change the situation until you take responsibility for it.  When you take 100% responsibility for your life, be it your career status, your health, your relationship status, your finances, your friendships, etc, that’s when you’re set to achieve the life of your dreams.
你有多大可能实现梦想取决于你承担了人生中的多少责任。当你责怪了别的人或者别的东西，你就在否认承担责任。你赋予别人的权利超过了你自己的。譬如，当你责怪你父母导致了你的肥胖，你还会继续这么胖下去，因为你认为他们才是导致肥胖的原因。你永远不会行使自己的权力去改变这个情况直到有一刻你承担了这个责任。当你为你的生命承担起100%的责任，无论是你的事业情况，健康状况，爱情，财务状况，还是友情等等，那一刻你就在着手实现人生梦想了。

5.Complain.
5.抱怨。

It’s okay to complain once in a while as a way to vent, but doing it too often makes you a magnet for negativity.  Whenever you complain, you give your power away to the universe.  For every second you spend complaining, that’s one second you could have spent creating the life you want.  Rather than lament, think about the actions you can take to improve your situation instead.  Every time you do, that’s one step toward the life you’ve been dreaming about.
抱怨一两次去发泄感情当然无可厚非，但是如果总是抱怨会让你成为一个负极磁场。无论何时只要你去抱怨，你就在给宇宙注入能量。你用来抱怨的每一秒钟，都本应是用于创造更美好的生活的。如果你可以为了改善生活而采取的措施，而不是一味地抱怨。这样，你便向你的梦想跨进了一步。

6.Try to do everything by yourself.
6.事必躬亲。

Are you someone who likes to do everything yourself?  So do I - but over the years I realize that this prevents me from achieving more.  In trying to do everything, including the nitty-gritty, less important details (see #2), that means you’re not able to do the higher level, important things like your biggest goals and dreams.  Start by delegating, outsourcing or removing the less important tasks and scaling yourself up to do the more important ones.  You’ll notice a big difference in your productivity.
你是一个什么事情都要自己去做做看的人么？我也是，但是我却发现这却让我失去很多。我去尝试做所有事情，比如一些基本的事实，不重要的细节（参阅第二条），那都会意味着你不能做更重要的事情，比如你的最高目标和最好的梦想。学会委派，外包业务或者把一些不重要的事情移除出你的计划，扩展自我到更重要的事情中去。你会发现到你的成果会产生很大的变化。

7.Set small goals.
7.设立小目标。

Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail.  Actually what they’re really afraid of is to realize that they’ve always had all the power to achieve everything they want and that they have wasted their own time and dreams.  You have all the potential and power in this world to achieve everything you want.  Stop settling for less and set your highest goals today.  You owe it to yourself.
许多人喜欢设立小的目标，因为他们害怕失败。实际上，他们害怕的却是意识到他们有能力去做很多事情，而他们却浪费了这些时间和梦想。你是有能力去做每一个你想做到的事情的。不要再设立小小的目标，而在今天把眼光放的更远大一些吧。这是你欠自己的一个目标！

8.Bottle up unhappiness.
8.把不开心封锁起来。

Bottling up your emotions is like creating a bomb that will eventually self-implode.  Every time you bury an emotion, you’re weighing yourself down with baggage.  The best way to deal with your emotions, whether happy ones or unhappy ones, is to lay them out on the table and face them.  Don’t hide from your problems.  When you do you’re just hiding from yourself.  I found a great way to clear emotional baggage is to use the brain dumping exercise, where you dump your emotions in a journal for about 10-15 minutes.  Try it - you’ll feel lighter almost immediately.
封锁情绪就好像在设置一个炸弹，它们迟早都会爆炸的。每一次你放进去一些情绪，你的行李就会沉重一些。处理情绪最好的方法，就是无论开心或者不开心，都要把它们公开或者表现在脸上。不要把你的问题藏起来。如果你这样做，就是让自己逃避问题。我找到一个很好的方法去清除感情行李就是练习用大脑去甩掉它们，这样你可以在10-15分钟内去除这些情绪。尝试一下，你马上就会觉得很轻松！

9.Think that you cannot do it.
9.觉得你无法做到。

As Henry Ford put it, "Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right."  There is nothing more powerful in the world than our beliefs.  Our beliefs are the lenses we use to see the world.  If we think we don’t have the power, then our minds will find the evidence to support that thought.  If we think we have the power to achieve what we want, then similarly, our minds will automatically lock down on all the evidence that supports that thought.
正如亨利福特所言，"无论你觉得你行不行，你都是对的。"世界上没有什么比我们的信念更加强大有力了。这些信念就是我们来聚焦这个世界的镜头。如果我们觉得自己不具备这个能力，那大脑就会找到证据来证明这个想法。如果我们觉得自己有能力达到它，那同样地，我们的大脑也会自动地锁定一些证据来支持这个想法。

Our limitations have little to do with the world, society, people, or anything like that – our limitations have always been within us – our beliefs.  My personal motto is that as long as there’s the will, there’s always a way.  Nothing is impossible to achieve in this world.  For some practical positive thinking guidance, I recommend The Magic of Thinking Big.
我们的极限和这个世界、社会、人类或者其他什么东西都无关，只和我们自己的信念有关。我个人的信条就是：有志者，事竟成。没有什么不能做到。更多的积极思考的指导，请参阅《 The Magic of Thinking Big》一书。

10.Procrastinate on your goals.
10.拖延你的目标。

Procrastination is the best way to bury your potential.  Do you want your goals to never come true?  Sure, procrastinate on them.  I’ve never in my life seen a happy procrastinator.  Everyone I know who procrastinates usually holds a heavy heart, because deep down they want to achieve their goals.  Deep down they know they are meant to live their dreams.  So stop procrastinating.  Start by first identifying what you’re passionate about, then go from there.  As long as you’re doing what you love, you can never go wrong.
拖延是埋葬你的潜能最好的方法。你想让你的目标永远不要被实现么？如果你想，那你就尽情地拖延吧。在我的生活里我从来都没见过一个快乐的拖延者。每一个我认识的爱拖延的人都背负着一个沉重的包袱。因为延缓了追逐目标的脚步，减慢了实现梦想的速度。所以不要拖延了。最开始只要你确定了自己的兴趣所在，然后就努力去做。只要你在做你热爱的事情，你就永远都不会出问题。

        1、想你，是一种美丽的忧伤的甜蜜的惆怅，心里面，却是一种用任何语言也无法表达的温馨。

　　it is graceful grief and sweet sadness to think of you, but in my heart, there is a kind of soft warmth that can’t be expressed with any choice of words。

　　2、你知道思念一个人的滋味吗，就像喝了一大杯冰水，然后用很长很长的时间流成热泪。

　　do you understand the feeling of missing someone? it is just like that you will spend a long hard time to turn the ice-cold water you have drunk into tears。

　　3、我知道你最喜欢这首歌，我也知道你的心思，我想你。

　　i know you like this song most and i know what you are thinking about ,too, i miss you。

[!–empirenews.page–]

　　4、常常想起曾和你在一起的那些日子。开心、快乐、幸福、失落、伤心、痛苦的所有日子。很想你，很想你……

　　those days when we were together appear in my mind time after time, because they were so joyful, happy, blest, disappointing, sad and painful. i miss you ,and miss you so much……

　　5、你知道么，有个人时时想念着你，惦记你，你含笑的眼睛，象星光闪闪，缀在我的心幕上，夜夜亮晶晶。

　　do you know there is someone thinking of you and caring you all the time ? your smiling eyes are just like the sparkling stars hanging on the curtain of my heart。

　　6、心要让你听见，爱要让你看见，不怕承认对你有多眷恋；想你的时候，盼你能收到我的真情留言！

　　listening to my heart beating. seeing how much i love you ,i dare to admit how much i love you .when thinking of you, i hope you can receive the passionate words i left for you!

[!–empirenews.page–]

　　7、千万个思念，在空气中凝固。扬起风吹向你，带着我的祝福，寂寞我不在乎，你快乐我就满足，想你是我的幸福！

　　thousand of time i have thought of you .my heart is going high into the air and flying with my blessing towards you i don’t care loneliness. i am satisfied when you are happy and i am happy when i think of you!

　　8、不是因为寂寞才想你，是因为想你才寂寞。孤独的感觉之所以如此之重，只是因为太想你。

　　i miss you not because of my loneliness but i do feel lonely when i miss you. only when i miss you deeply i feel so lonely。

　　9、长长的思念，就像风筝断了线，飘啊飘啊，飘到你的身边。

　　i miss you so deeply that my love just like a kite has broken its line and won’t stop flying until it reaches you at last。

　　10、好想，好想你！如果清风有情，请带去我对你的思念，这一生都为你牵挂；如果白云有意，请带去我对你的爱恋，生生世世都愿和你共缠绵！

　　oh, how much i miss you! if the passionate refreshing breeze knows my heart, it can tell you that i miss you and care you for my life’s time. if graceful white cloud knows my heart, it can tell you i love you and would be together with you forever。

Whether you’re an experienced entrepreneur or just starting out, there’s nothing more essential to success than keeping yourself motivated. Here are 10 thoughts that motivational guru Omar Periu shared with me a while back:
无论你是一位经验丰富的企业家或者才刚刚起步，没有什么比保持自己的动力对成功更为关键。激励大师奥马尔·佩鲁前阵子与我分享了十个想法：

1.Motivation means choosing to do what you’d rather not do, which is why unmotivated people never get anywhere.
动力就是选择做你不想做的事情。这就是为什么缺乏动力的人从来没有取得任何进展的原因。

2.Most people want to improve their situation but few take responsibility for motivating themselves to make changes.
大多数人都希望改善自己的处境，但很少有人为激励自己做出改变而采取行动。

3.People can always validate the decision to avoid unpleasant work. Example: "Today, I’ll get organized; tomorrow I’ll make cold calls."
人们总是能为自己逃避不愉快的工作找到借口。例如：“今天我先计划一下；明天我就进行电话推销。”

4.Motivation comes from managing your mind and your emotions. Fail at this and you’ll live a life of quiet desperation.
动力来自管理你的思想和情绪。如果不能做到这一点，你的生活就会平淡而绝望。

5.The most depressing and de-motivating sentences in the world usually begin with the phrase "Someday, I’ll…"
世界上最沮丧和没有动力的话总是这么开头的“总有一天，我会……”

6.If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, go someplace quiet and replace those thoughts with positive affirmations, prayer or meditation.
如果你发现自己情绪消极，到一个安静的地方把消极的情绪变成积极的肯定想法、祷告或者冥想。

7.To get big results, ask yourself big questions. "Why do I want to be a millionaire?" is far more motivating than "How can I make a living?"
为了取得宏大的目标，你要问自己一些宏大的问题。“为什么我想变成一个百万富翁？”比“我怎么才能生存下去？”激励人心多了。

8.Don’t set goals that just excite you; set goals that scare you a little bit. That way they’ll strengthen your "motivation muscle."
不要仅仅设定能刚好让你兴奋的目标；设定的目标要能让你自己有点害怕。这样，这些目标就能让你的“动力肌肉”更加发达。

9.What holds people back is fear of failure, but if you don’t take action, you’ll fail by default, so what have you got to lose?
让人们退却的是对失败的恐惧，但是如果你不采取行动，你就默认自己失败了。所以，（行动吧！）你又有什么损失呢？

10.You can have whatever you want in life, but nobody is going to give it to you. Everything of value must be earned.
你可以得到生活里你想要的一切，但是没有人会双手送上。有价值的东西一定是通过努力获得的。

Love, Grows in Marriage 爱情，在婚姻的殿堂中成长

Social scientists have observed that marriages typically move through a series of at least four stages. Each stage presents unique learning opportunities and blessings, along with challenges and obstacles.
社会学家研究发现，一般来说，婚姻至少要经历一系列的至少四个阶段。每个阶段都给予我们独特的学习和成长的机会，还有祝福。当然，其中不乏挑战和险阻。

Stage One – Romance, Passion and Promise
第一阶段——浪漫，激情，承诺

In the beginning of a relationship partners often communicate effortlessly and at length. They seem to intuit each other’s needs and wishes and go out of their way to please and surprise each other. Couples begin to develop a strong sense of “we.”
在一段婚姻关系初期，夫妻们经常可以毫不费力地进行最大限度的沟通。他们可以直接感知对方的愿望和需求，也会不顾自己的感受尽力取悦对方，让对方惊喜。他们之间逐渐建立起“我们”的强烈意识，纵观所有阶段，此阶段夫妻的个性差异是最小的，几乎可以忽略。

Individual differences are minimized, if noticed at all; partners are very accepting. Joy, excitement, happiness and hope abound.
夫妻在这个阶段很容易接受对方的一切。他们彼此充满着快乐、兴奋、幸福和希望。

Partners present and elicit their best selves. Life seems promising. It is a time of sharing dreams and romance. This is a time to be remembered and cherished.
夫妻们都会选择展现他们最好的那一面给对方。生活似乎充满希望和前景。这是彼此分享梦想和浪漫的阶段。这是值得铭记和珍惜的阶段。

Stage Two – Settling down and Realization
第二阶段——冷静和理解

The high energy and intensity of Stage One inevitably give way to the ordinary and routine.
第一阶段的热情和激情不可避免地被随之而来的生活琐事所磨灭。

Ideally, in Stage Two couples learn to deepen their communication skills. They work to understand and express their wants, needs, and feelings.
在理想的情况下，在第二阶段，夫妻倾向于加强他们的沟通技巧。他们要学习慢慢地理解和表达他们真正的需求、感觉和希望。

They learn to be honest and vulnerable and to listen actively to each other.
他们要学习坦诚，要愿意展现自己脆弱的一面给对方，还要多倾听对方的意见。

They become aware of differences not noticed previously and develop strategies for dealing with them. Couples learn about give and take, negotiation and accommodation.
他们会发现一些之前没有留意到的差异，并利用适当的策略好好处理因差异造成的影响。双方在这个阶段学习如何付出和接受、商量和妥协。

Stage Three – Rebellion and Power Struggles
第三阶段——反抗和权力抗争

Spouses cannot always live up to each other’s expectations. They will disappoint and unintentionally hurt each other.
夫妻关系中没有人总能满足对方的期盼。不经意间，他们会使对方失望，甚至伤害到对方。

They now become intensely aware of their differences and may use control strategies to bring back the desired balance.
在这阶段，他们强烈地意识到两人之间的差异，并希望能控制局势，让生活回到以前理想的平衡状态。

Power struggles are common. Blame, judgment, criticism and defensiveness are likely outcomes.
权力抗争是很常见的；指责，批评，挑剔，防御，是最有可能的结果。

Fear and anxiety enter the relationship. Couples’ thinking can narrow into right/wrong, good/bad polarities.
婚姻关系混进了恐惧和担忧，夫妻的思想很可能会缩窄到对/错，好/坏两个极端。

Ideally, couples learn about forgiveness and accommodation in this stage. They learn to deal constructively with anger and hurt. A supportive community becomes especially important.
理想的情况下，在此阶段，夫妻会在体谅和适应中成长。支撑性的社群变得尤为重要（即亲戚好友要帮助夫妻维持婚姻，给予支撑性的建议，让争吵中的夫妻变得和谐）。

Stage Four – Discovery, Reconciliation, and Beginning Again
第四阶段——发现，调解，重新开始

Couples can push through the previous stage through deepened communication, honesty and trust.
夫妻可以跳过第三阶段这道坎，但需要加深彼此的沟通，坦诚和信任。

Ideally, they discover and create a new sense of connection. They learn more about each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities.
在理想的情况下，他们会探寻并创造出一种新的维系婚姻的方式。

They learn to identify and talk about their fears instead of acting them out. They refuse to judge or blame their partner; they translate their complaints into requests for change.
他们学会要了解更多对方的长处和弱点。他们学会试图说出他们心中的恐惧，而不是直接表现在行动上以致伤害对方。他们不再批评或指责对方，而将对方的抱怨视为让自己变得更好的要求。

Partners see each other in a new light, as gifted and flawed, just as they themselves are gifted and flawed. Empathy and compassion increase. They learn to appreciate and respect each other in new ways; they learn not to take each other for granted.
夫妻用一种新的眼光看待对方，就如同自己本身有优点也有缺点，对方也亦然。因此，他们对对方的同情感和怜悯感增加了。他们学会以一种新的方法去赞美和尊重对方，不再认为对自己好是对方的义务。

 They find a new balance of separateness and togetherness, independence and intimacy. A new hope and energy return to the relationship.
他们发现了一种在分开和共处之间，独立和亲密之间的平衡。婚姻关系重新注入新的希望和力量。

Additional Challenges and Stages
其他挑战和阶段

Many couples will encounter additional life cycle stages. Just like marriage, creating a family will face many challenges.
很多夫妻会遇到其他阶段。如同婚姻，建立一个家庭会面对很多挑战。

It is another opportunity to learn about cooperation and becoming a team, about dealing with differences and conflicts, and about taking time to pause and choose.
这给予夫妻另一个成长的机会，学习如何成为一个团队，分工合作；处理生活上的矛盾和争执；留出时间去思考未来的路，并进行抉择。

Parenting is a spiritual journey that involves not only the growth of the children but the growth of the parents. Like marriage, it will have many opportunities to surrender and die to self, to let go and to grieve.
成为父母是一个心灵上新的旅程，期间不断发育成长的不仅有孩子，而且父母也会壮大他们的力量，思想更加成熟。如同婚姻，成为父母也要很大牺牲，要懂取舍和放弃。

Other life cycle challenges include illness, unemployment and other financial crises, retirement, and the death of one’s partner. Many couples must take care of the older generation while letting go of the younger one.
夫妻会遇到的其他挑战还包括疾病，失业或其他经济危机，退休和另一半的离世。有时候，夫妻还要面对白头人送黑头人的情况。

Growth throughout the marital journey requires openness and flexibility. Faith requires trust and surrender. Even if we cannot see the entire road and where it will end, we need to have clarity to take the next few steps.
在婚姻的旅程中，爱情的成长需要坦诚和适应。信念需要信任和退让来维持。尽管我们未必能遇见前方的道路，也不知何处是幸福的彼岸，我们仍然需要清晰的指导，引领未来的生活。

重点英语单词短语学习:

obstacle [‘ɔbstəkl] n. 障碍，干扰；妨害物

intuit [in’tju:it] vt. 由直觉知道

minimize [‘minimaiz] vi. 最小化

inevitably [in’evitəbli] adv. 不可避免地；必然地

vulnerable [‘vʌlnərəbl] adj. 易受伤害的；有弱点的；脆弱的

accommodation [ə,kɔmə’deiʃən] n. 住处，膳宿；调节；和解

flawed [flɔ:d] adj. 有缺陷的；有瑕疵的；有裂纹的

surrender [sə’rendə] vi. 投降；屈服；自首

unemployment [,ʌnim’plɔimənt] n. 失业；失业率；失业人数

双语阅读：每每谈一场恋爱就如同读了一本新书

Starting a new book is a risk, just like falling in love. You have to commit to it. You open the pages knowing a little bit about it maybe, from the back or from a blurb on the front. But who knows, right? Those bits and pieces aren’t always right.
读一本新书恰似坠入爱河，是场冒险。你得全身心投入进去。翻开书页之时，从序言简介直至封底你或许都知之甚少。但谁又不是呢？字里行间的只言片语亦不总是正确。
 
Sometimes people advertise themselves as one thing and then when you get deep into it you realize that they’re something completely different. Either there was some good marketing attached to a terrible book, or the story was only explained in a superficial way and once you reach the middle of the book, you realize there’s so much more to this book than anyone could have ever told you.
有时候你会发现，人们自我推销时是一种形象，等你再深入了解后，他们又完全是另一种模样了。有时拙作却配有出色的市场推销，故事的叙述却流于表面，阅读过半后，你方才发觉：这本书真是出乎意料地妙不可言，这种感受只要靠自己去感悟！
 
You start off slow. The story is beginning to unfold. You’re unsure. It’s a big commitment lugging this tome around. Maybe this book won’t be that great but you’ll feel guilty about putting it down. Maybe it’ll be so awful you’ll keep hate-reading or just set it down immediately and never pick it up again. Or maybe you’ll come back to it some night, drunk or lonely — needing something to fill the time, but it won’t be any better than it was when you first started reading it.
你慢慢翻页，故事开始缓慢展开，而你却依旧心存犹疑。阅读这样的巨著需要百分之百的投入。或许它并不是你想象中的伟大的作品，奈何半途弃读会使你觉得不安。又或许，故事真的很烂，你要么咬牙苦读下去，要么立刻放弃束之高阁。抑或某个酒醉或孤寂的夜晚，你又重新捡起这本书来——但只为打发时光。不管怎样，它并没有比你初次阅读时好多少。

Maybe you’re worn out. You’ve read tons of books before. Some were just light weights on a Kindle or Nook, no big deal really. Others were Infinite Jest-style burdens, heavy on your back or in your purse. Weighing you down all the time. Maybe you’ve taken some time off from reading because the last few books you read just weren’t worth it. Do they even write new, great works of literature anymore? Maybe that time you fell in love with a book before will just never happen for you again. Maybe it’s a once in a lifetime feeling and you’re never gonna find it again.
或许你已疲惫至极。你曾阅览无数，有些无足轻重无甚重要，而有些却像荒诞讽刺的包袱，沉重地压在你背上或藏在你行囊里，随时都可能压垮你。或许因为上次读的书索然无味，你已暂时避开阅读时光。还会有优秀的新文学作品么？只怕等你再次恋上一本书前，那优秀的新作品永远也不会出现罢。或许这真的就是千年等一回、除却巫山不是云了。
 
Or something exciting could happen. Maybe this will become your new favorite book. That’s always a possibility right? That’s the beauty of risk. The reward could actually be worth it. You invest your time and your brain power in the words and what you get back is empathy and a new understanding and pure wonder.
当然，生活总会有新鲜事发生，你也会有新的爱书。一切总有可能，不是吗？这正是冒险的魅力。得到的也大抵物有所值吧。你在字里行间播撒时间和心思，自然便可收获新的感悟、理解与遐思。
 
How could someone possibly know you like this? Some stranger, some author, some character. It’s like they’re seeing inside your soul. This book existed inside some book store, on a shelf, maybe handled by other people and really it was just waiting for you pick it up and crack the spine. It was waiting to speak to you. To say, “You are not alone.”
怎会有人知道你喜欢它呢？某个陌生人、作者，抑或书中的某个角色。他们似乎能看透你的心思。这本书，它陈列在某隅书店的书架上、它经人辗转，真的就像是在等你捧起翻阅，等着向你低语：“我会伴你左右。”
 
You just want more of the story. You want to keep reading, maybe everything this author’s ever written. You wish it would never end. The closer it gets to the smaller side of the pages, the slower you read, wanting to savor it all. This book is now one of your favorites forever. You will always wish you could go back to never having read it and pick it up fresh again, but also you know you’re better for having this close, inside you, covering your heart and mind.
你渴望更多故事，你继续阅读，甚至搜集这位作者以往所有作品。你希望故事永远延续。书页越翻越薄，你也越读越慢，心里想着要细细含英咀华。此刻，它确定无疑就是你永恒的至爱了。你总想一读再读，每次捧起它都感觉新奇如初，而你也明白：因为内心深处的每一缕思绪都与它这般亲密，你已变得更加美好。
 

the difference between favor and love 喜欢与爱的区别

the distance between favor and love is not so far, but fewer people can easily change favor into love. walking around the favor forever, you can always have a slight feeling of sweetness without any burden… but it is a successful step and reborn emotion for you to make favor into love.
从喜欢到爱的心路并不遥远，但能走通的人却不多。永远在喜欢身边散步，就能永远体验一种浅浅的甜意，毫无负担……但从喜欢走到爱，却是一次成功的递进，一次感情的再生。

favor will say loudly “hello, i am coming!” otherwise, love will whisper “going ahead, i will come with you.”
喜欢会大声地说：“嗨！我来了！” 爱却轻轻地讲：“向前走，我陪着你。”

[!–empirenews.page–]

“ i am walking through the green grass; wandering on the small dike. sun is embracing me; wind is hugging me…… “ the favor sings. “you have tender eyes and considerate soul. if you do not mind , please allow me to be close to you, i think i will understand you…” love whispers.
喜欢高歌道：“我走过青草地，漫步在小河堤，让阳光拥着我，让风儿缠绵…… ”爱低吟着：“你有一双温柔的眼睛，你有善解人意的心灵，如果你愿意，请让我靠近，我想我会明白你的心……”

favor make a fool person lovely and smart, but love make a clever person with lower intelligence. a girl will always be a girl, beautiful, charming and lively, when she comes across favor ; a girl will become a women, strong, generous and tender, when she falls in love .
喜欢使愚笨的人变得聪慧可爱，而爱使聪明的人变得智商大落差。喜欢使女孩永远是女孩，娇羞美丽，活泼可人；而爱能使女孩成为女人，坚强、宽厚、充满温情。

[!–empirenews.page–]

favor makes a person pure; but love makes a person profound.
喜欢使人单纯，爱使人深刻。

favor is a baby , but love is in the quietness.
喜欢在欢快中游玩，而爱在静谧中沉淀。

favor likes the street light, colorful and bright; however, love is the candlelight, it can illuminate people’s inner world, everything around it becomes gentle and obscure, but full of connotation.
喜欢是闹市里的霓虹灯，五颜六色，熠熠发光；而爱是烛火，它照亮人们内心深处的灵性，能将周围的一切变得柔和迷离，隐约可见，却富有内涵。

favor means to choice, but love means to accept.
喜欢是选择，而爱是接受。

favor and love have many differences. they have their own meanings. therefore, don’t mistake favor for love, and vice versa.
喜欢就是喜欢，爱就是爱，千万别把喜欢当成爱，也别把爱错认为喜欢。

Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:
生活有时候困难得难以置信，但又不容置疑。我们面临的挑战与困境似乎无法抵御，试图毁灭我们生活，甚至使你犹疑是否继续走下去。但是你总有选择的余地。从人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯乐普，在这里与我们分享她启迪心灵、充满震撼力的生活之旅。

In 2012 I had the worst year of my life.
2012年是我生活中最艰难的一年。

I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it.
我做着讨厌的财务工作，住在难寻绿色的高楼林立的城市。我忙于无意义的交往，在一些肤浅表面的东西上大笔开销。我寻找快乐，却又不知道它在哪里。

Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice.
然后我患上了慢性疲劳综合症，几乎到了卧床不起的地步。我不得不辞掉工作，同时也就断了财源。我和那时仅相处了3个月的男友住在一起，经济上完全依赖于他，我们的关系承受着巨大压力。终于我恢复健康，但不久，我接到家里的电话，父亲的癌症急剧恶化，已经住进了临终关怀中心。

I left the city and I went home to be with him.
我离开了城市，回家陪父亲。

He died 6 months later.
6个月之后，他去世了。

My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what.
父亲的事让我彻底清醒。他一直很强壮，在他咽气之后一分钟里，我真的认为，他会活过来。我不能相信，我再也不能依偎在他温暖的怀抱里，享受他宽大的胸怀带给我的安全感。

The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other.
母亲和我们5个兄弟姐妹极为难过，但至少我们还拥有彼此。

But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital.
但是，那时我大姐开始抱怨着背痛，2个月后，因疼痛加剧也住进了医院。

They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do.
医生们检查发现，她已是骨癌晚期，对此他们已无能为力。

She died 1 month later.
1个月之后，她也走了。

I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life.
大姐的逝去让我陷入难以形容的痛苦之中。

She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her.
在这个世界上，她是一个能走路、会说话的天使，我最喜欢的人。如果有人问我，世界上发生的最坏的事情是什么，那就是失去她。

She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her.
她是我的灵魂伴侣，我从来没有想过，我会走过没有她陪伴的生命旅程。

The Moment Of Deliberate Choice
抉择时刻

The shock and extreme heart break brought me to my knees. The pain was so great and my world just looked desolate. I had no real home, no money, no job, and no friends that cared. Not one person had even sent me a sympathy card for my loss.
我被打击和极度的心痛击挎了。强烈的痛苦使世界在我眼中变得如此凄凉。我没有真正意义上的家，没有钱，没有工作，也没有关心我的朋友。没有一个人因我失去亲人而寄给我慰问卡。

I made an attempt of my own life and I ended up in hospital.
我尝试着活下去，结果住进了医院。

I remember lying in the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling and seeing my sister’s beautiful face. She stayed with me all night long.
我记得，躺在病床上，看着天花板，看到姐姐美丽的面庞。她整夜守候着我。

I realised during that night that I had a choice. I could choose to end my life or I could choose to live it.
那天晚上，我意识到我可以选择。要么结束生命，要么活下去。

I looked in my sister’s eyes and I made a decision not to go with her just yet. That I would stay and complete my journey here.
望着姐姐的眼睛，我决定不跟她走。我要留下来，走完我的生命旅程。

I also made the decision that, I wouldn’t just live any life. I would live the life that I absolutely LOVE and nothing less.
同时，我还决定，不只为生活而生活，我要完全以自己想要的方式生活。

In that moment, the clarity that descended around me was like a light shining in a dark room for the first time. As if the earth’s plates had shifted under my feet and everything suddenly looked real for the first time.
在那一刻，这一想法第一次清晰得如同一盏在黑暗闪烁的明灯。好像脚下的地球版块变换了，每一样东西在我眼前都真实得前所未有。

The Blossoms Of My Newly Chosen Life
我的生活之花重新绽放了

Since then I have begun to shape the most beautiful life for myself.
从那时起，我开始为自己塑造最美丽的生活。

I now live in an adorable stone cottage in a stunningly green, luscious region of the UK amongst woodlands and lakes.
现在，我住在英国一栋迷人的小石屋里，绿树掩映，与湖为伴，景色美丽宜人。

I have a deeply harmonious, joyful relationship with my amazing boyfriend, who’s gone through all this with me and we are very happy together.
我的男友很好，我们的关系和谐美好，他曾伴我度过那段艰难时期，现在我们一起分享着快乐。

I write a blog that inspires others to live the life that they love. It is what I know I was born to do and it truly makes my heart sing.
我写博客，激励他人过他们喜欢的生活。我知道这是我生来要做的事情，它真正使我感受到发自内心的快乐。

I am making new friends with beautiful souls all around the world.
我和世界上有着美好心灵的人交朋友。

I practise gratitude for my life every single day and I feel the abundance in everything I have now.
每一天，我满怀对生活的感激之情，我满足于我现在拥有的一切。

I spend quality time with the rest of my precious family and cherish every moment I have with them.
我与心爱的家人共度快乐时光，珍惜与他们相处的每一刻。

I have written a bucket list and am already manifesting so much of which I have always dreamed.
我列出愿望清单，它很大程度上体现了我一直以来梦想。

I connect with my heart often to ensure that I am always following my joy.
我时常与心交流，确保做着喜欢的事。

I love myself more deeply every day.
我一天比一天更爱自己。

I live authentically now.
现在我真正地活着。

Waking Up
清醒

It took something powerfully transformative in my life to make me wake up. Wake up to some fundamental truths of life.This life is a gift if you want to accept it. No matter what the obstacle, you can make your life abundant with joy and you can live authentically.
生活中一些重大变化使我清醒，使我意识到生活的基本真理。如果你愿意接受生活，它就是礼物。无论遭遇任何困难，你总能让生活充满快乐，真正地生活。

Not a day goes by when I don’t miss my father’s huge character or my beloved sister’s gentle brown eyes, but I know that I will be with them one day for an eternity. What I have now is so precious and so fleeting that I must grasp the joy in every moment I can, and treat it as the gift that it is.
没有哪一天，我不思念父亲温暖的怀抱或至爱的姐姐温柔的棕色眼睛，但是，我知道，终有一天我会与他们相聚。我现在拥有的是如此珍贵、如此易逝，我必须尽情享受每一刻的欢愉，将其视为上帝的馈赠。

You choose life every day. But do you choose the life that you love every day?
每一天，你选择生活。但是，你是否每一天都过着想要的生活？

双语爱情美文阅读：Hard to Say Goodbye 难说再见

I’ve just come back from school, and I’m on my computer already! I could do anything to distract myself from your thoughts… I could read a book, do my homework or even have lunch.
我刚刚放学回家，就已经坐在了电脑前面！任何事情都能把我从对你的思念中拉回来……我可以找本书看、做作业或是吃午饭。

But I just don’t want to. Because right now, all I really want to do is think about you. Think about the memories we made. Together. Or when we were apart. I knew I had you… and now I know that I don’t.
但我并不想这样，因为此时此刻，我真正想做的事情就是想着你。想着我们共同的回忆，既有在一起的记忆，也有分开时的记忆。我知道你曾经是我的好友……而现在我也清楚这一切已一去不复返。

Our memories… that’s all I’m really left with. Remember the day when we first met and how I annoyed you with my not-so-funny jokes, and how you pretended to laugh at them? And the day when we had our first biggest fight and how you gave me a card that said “Open this envelope with a smile because today is a special day for you” on my birthday? And how that made us friends again? You’d made my day, really.
我们的回忆……这是你留给我的全部了。你是否还记得我们第一次见面的那天，我跟你讲了一些并不好笑的笑话，你虽然有些烦，但还是装作大笑的样子？你是否还记得那天我们第一次大吵了一架，我生日时你给了我一张贺卡，上面写道“请微笑着打开这个信封，因为今天对你来说是个特殊的日子”？你是否还记得那张贺卡让我们重新成为朋友？你让我的生日与众不同，真的。

My chest hurts. It feels so empty.
我的心好疼，感觉空空的。

I love us. I love everything about us. Everything. And I never wanted this to end. I hate seeing you go away. I just wish I could stop you somehow and tell you how much I need you here. With me forever. But that would be selfish.
我喜欢我俩在一起的时候。我喜欢关于我俩的一切。所有的一切。我从没想过要让这一切结束。我不想看着你离去。我多么想找个借口阻止你离开，告诉你我有多需要你。只想让你和我在一起。但是这样太自私了。

Yesterday, I died a little inside when you said you’d be leaving at 10 pm for your flight. And I was just like,” Wow, so you really ARE leaving us.”
昨天，当你告诉我说，你要搭晚上十点的航班离开时，我的心好像有一小部分已经死去了。我当时只是说，“哦，你果真要离开我们了。”

But I can’t help it, can I? Neither can you. I just realized how much I hated goodbyes. I don’t want to ‘goodbye’ you.
然而对此我却无能为力，不是么？你也无法改变这一切。我才意识到我多么讨厌说再见，不想跟你说“再见”。

The truth is, I’ve never been open to many people. I’ve been shy and quiet. So if I loved you enough to tell you all my secrets and show you the real me… you must be very special.
事实上，我并不是对所有人都能敞开心扉。我一直都很害羞、安静。因此，如果我喜欢你到告诉你我所有的秘密，并向你袒露真实的自我时……那你一定是个非常特殊的朋友了。

I regret everything I’ve said or done to hurt you. I’m sorry. I never meant to do those things to you.
我很后悔说了什么或做了什么而伤害了你。对不起，我从没想过要那样对你。

No matter the distance between us, no matter where you are, or where I am…I will always love you. And I just hope you love me too. Just for me, make sure Canada treats you better than we did.
无论相隔多远，无论你身在何方，无论我在哪个角落……我会一直爱着你。我只希望你也同样爱着我。答应我，在加拿大要过得好好的，要比和我们在一起的时候过得更好。

You’re my best friend; you’ll always be my best friend. You’re my best friend for life.
你是我最好的朋友，将来一直都会是。你是我一生最好的朋友。

You’re taking away eight years of my life with you. You’re the only person who actually got me, who could tell when I was upset, who knew how to make me feel better… and now that person is going away.
你带走了我生命中的八年时光。你是唯一一个能够理解我，知道什么时候我很烦躁，知道如何安慰我的朋友……而现在，你走了。

Will you just do me a favor? Just promise me one thing, okay? Promise me that you will never forget about me. That you will always remember that you had a friend named Harshita.
你能帮我一个忙吗？答应我一件事，好吗？答应永远不要忘记我。你要永远记得你有一个朋友叫哈什塔。

And that’s all I want you to do.
这就是我对你的所有要求。

重点英语单词学习：

distract [dɪ’strækt] vt. 转移；分心
promise [‘prɒmɪs] n. 许诺，允诺 vt. 允诺，许诺

Love. It makes the world go ‘round, right? Well, at least that’s the how the saying goes. But is it true? It should be, but so many people confuse love with things like jealousy or possessiveness. True love isn’t either of those things. But these 17 things are. So here are the lessons that real love teaches us:
有句话叫做“爱让世界转动”，果真如此么？应该是吧。可是，很多人却把嫉妒或占有误以为是爱。真爱既不是嫉妒也不是占有。但下面这17个蕴意却能阐释爱。请看真爱能教会我们什么吧：

1. Love means letting go of expectations
爱意味着抛开期望

Sure, we all want people to behave the way we want them to. We want them to be more affectionate. Or more outgoing. Or smarter. Or more ambitious. All of these things are expectations. Expectations are just your requirements for “acceptability” of loving someone. But true love has no expectations. It simply loves “as is.”
自然，我们都希望别人能成为我们所期望的那样。我们要求他们更柔情、更阳光、更聪明或更有抱负。所有这些都是期望，而期望就是你“愿意”爱上某人的条件。可是，真爱并不尽是期望——真爱是能够接受对方本来的样子。

2. Love doesn’t play the victim role or blame others
爱没有“玻璃心”，也不会苛责对方

Love works together. It takes responsibility. It forgives and allows other people’s actions to be their journey. Love doesn’t take things personally.
爱是同心协力，是同舟共济，是宽容对方并放手让对方启程。爱不会狭隘地斤斤计较。

3. Love includes letting go
爱也是放手

Love doesn’t equal possession. Just as the saying goes, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it never was.” There is truth to that. Love allows people their freedom. It doesn’t hold tightly and crush their wings in attempt to keep them. True love doesn’t want to possess. It is willing to set you free if you want to be.
爱不等于占有。常言道：“如果你喜欢它，就请给它自由。它若能再回来，便是你的；若不愿回来，那么它永远也不会属于你。” 确实如此呵！爱会给对方自由。爱不应紧紧拽着对方，不应为了留住对方而折断他的翅膀。真爱不是占有，而是如你所愿地给你自由。

4. Love doesn’t require you to continue a relationship
爱不勉强维持

You may love someone very much. But you may not be compatible with them. Or they may drive you crazy with their continued disregard for your feelings. You can still love them, but that doesn’t mean you have to be with them. Love doesn’t mean that you have to stay, and stay, and stay. You can leave the relationship and love them anyway.
或许你非常爱他，可你们根本就性格不投；或者他总漠视你的情感，让你痛苦纠缠。当然，你仍然可以爱着他，但这不表示你必须陪在他身边。爱不是强作维持无奈停留。你可以选择离开，但在心里仍然爱着对方。

5. Love has no room for jealousy
爱没有嫉妒

Like possession, jealousy doesn’t equal love. We think that if we’re not jealous of our loved ones that it means that we don’t love them. True love has confidence in the quality of the relationship. It knows that the other person is happy and content coming back to you, and only you.
和占有欲一样，嫉妒也不是爱。我们以为要是不嫉妒吃醋，就表示我们根本不爱对方。其实，真爱完全相信彼此关系多么可靠，确信那个人会很开心地选择你——而且只有你。

6. Love is the absence of fear
爱没有恐惧

You can put all emotions on a continuum. On one end, you have love. Then appreciation. After that, it’s joy, happiness, contentment, and satisfaction. On the opposite end of the continuum of love is fear. Other fear-based emotions include, hatred, insecurity, jealousy, or greed.
将所有情绪排列顺序，从头开始是爱、感恩、喜悦、快乐、知足、满意，而排在最末尾的便是恐惧。恐惧类情绪还有憎恶、不安、嫉妒或贪婪。

7. Love is not needing and wanting
爱不是需求和渴望

One of the things we try to teach kids is that there is a clear difference between a want and a need. Needing someone is a feeling based in fear. You fear that you can’t live without them, so you need them. And remember, fear is the opposite of love. Wanting someone in your life gives them the freedom to leave, but still shows them you love them.
我们经常教导子女：渴望和需求是不一样的。你需要某人，那是因为你心藏恐惧：你害怕没了他你就无法生活，所以你需要他。可是别忘了，恐惧和爱是对立的。如果你渴望生活中出现某个人但又愿意给他离开的自由，那你才是爱他的。

8. Love is an action, not just a feeling
爱不只是感觉，更是行动

Humans tend to be addicted to intense emotion – especially when it feels good. So when we’re in love, we want to feel that way forever. But guess what? That higher than “Cloud 9” feeling goes away after a while. That doesn’t mean you don’t love the other person anymore, it just means that it’s not new anymore. So that’s where the action needs to kick in. Show the person you love them. Don’t just assume they know.
人们总是难以抗拒热烈的情感——尤其是在感觉良好的时候。所以一旦陷入爱，我们就总希望能一直那样美好。但实际上呢，那种飘飘欲仙的感觉稍纵即逝。当然，这并不表示你不再爱他，只能说新鲜劲儿过去了而已。这时就得拿出行动来证明你爱他。不要只在心里想当然认为他知道你爱他。

9. Love is unconditional
爱是无条件的

The word ‘unconditional’ means that there are no expectations or limitations set. To love unconditionally is a difficult thing, and most humans aren’t good at that. But true love really does love without trying to change the other person.
“无条件”是指没有期望或设定限制。无条件去爱不是件容易的事情，大部分人也都做不到这一点。但是，真正的爱确实不需要试图去改变对方。

10. Love means putting other people’s needs equal to – or before – your own
爱意味着“忧他人之忧”

While people may be inherently selfish for survival purposes, this does not serve us well in relationships. If you don’t put other people’s needs at least equal to your own, they will grow resentful. Real love truly, genuinely cares about other people’s happiness and will go to great lengths to make people feel valued.
为了生存，人性难免自私；但自私却不利于培养感情。如果你没能把对方的需求当成自己的事情，那么对方或许会心怀不满。真正的爱会不容置疑地“乐他人之乐”，并且尽量让对方感到受重视。

11. Love is the highest vibration emotion that there is
爱是世界上最易波动的感情

Science has proven that emotions like love and fear have very different vibrations. They can actually measure them. Love vibrates very fast, whereas fear-based emotions (think jealousy, possessiveness, hatred, greed, etc.) vibrate very slowly. When you love completely and unconditionally, there is no fear involved. The vibrations of love make you feel good at all times.
科学表明，爱和恐惧具有截然不同的波动率。这种波动率可以实际测量出来：爱波动得非常快，而恐惧类情绪（如嫉妒、占有、憎恶、贪婪等）却波动得极其缓慢。如果你是全身心无条件去爱的话，恐惧是不存在的。起伏的爱会让你一直心情高昂。

12. Love is focusing on quality, not quantity
爱注重质量而非数量

Love focuses on the quality of your relationship, not its longevity. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?” Just because your relationship lasts a long time doesn’t mean that you have true love. Real love can be very brief. Therefore, quality and quantity of love are not the same things.
爱重在彼此关系的质量，而非相处了多长时间。相信你肯定听说过这句话——宁愿去爱去迷失，也总比不曾爱过的好。就算你们已经相处很长时间，也不表示你们就是真心相爱。真爱可以很短暂。所以说，爱质量和爱数量完全是两码事。

13. Love requires attention
爱需要关注

Love doesn’t ignore. It doesn’t look the other way. It wants to be present and be together. When people are in love, sometimes they think that they don’t have to “do any more work.” But real love actually enjoys giving attention to another person. It feels good, and doesn’t see giving attention to another person as a chore.
爱不可视而不见，不可心有旁骛；爱需要即时即刻在一起。有些人以为相爱时无需“多此一举”，但真正的爱其实是需要给予对方关注的。关心对方会让你感到开心，而且一点也不觉得琐碎麻烦。

14. Love understands and accepts differences
爱理解并接受差异

Let’s face it. We’re all different. Even identical twins aren’t exactly the same. They have different experiences and outlooks about the world. Real love doesn’t make other people wrong for being different. When people truly love another person, they accept their differences.
事实上人各有异。即便是长得相似的双胞胎也并不完全一样，他们也会有不同的经历和世界观。真正的爱不会因为对方不同而加以指责。若是真心相爱，人们会接受各自的差异。

15. Love varies in how it is expressed and accepted
表达与接受方式不同，爱也随之各异。

What makes us “feel loved” varies. In the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he explains the different ways people give and receive love: (1) Words (2) Acts of Service, (3) Giving Gifts, (4) Spending Time Together, and (5) Touch. It’s important to discover other people’s love language so you can understand each other and give love in a way that the other person recognizes it.
人们陷入爱的方式各有不同。在《爱的五种语言》一书中，盖瑞-恰普曼阐释了人们给予并接受爱的不同方式：(1)言语，(2)提供帮助，(3)赠送礼物，(4)共享时光，(5)肢体接触。因此，观察对方的爱语言很重要，这样你就能了解彼此，并以对方能够接受的方式表达爱意。

16. Love makes you feel good, not bad
爱让你情绪愉悦，而非低落

Many people confuse being in a relationship with love. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean there is true love present. If there is jealousy, possessiveness, constant fighting, abuse (verbal, emotional, or physical), that is not love. Refer back to #6. Those are fear-based emotions and actions.
许多人分不清相处和爱。两人相处并不一定就是真心相爱。如果伴有嫉妒、占有、经常性争吵，甚至口头、情感或身体上的暴力，那根本就不是爱。正如前面第6条所言，这些都是恐惧类的情绪和行为。

17. Love has empathy
爱能产生同感共鸣

Empathy is the ability to put yourself into another person’s shoes and see a situation from his/her point of view. Love has deep empathy. “When you hurt, I hurt.” People who truly love one another don’t want to hurt them. They want them to feel good. They care about their feelings and try everything they can to make them feel valued and worthy.
同感共鸣就是你要能站在对方立场并从对方角度看待情况。爱能产生强烈的共鸣。“你痛，我也痛。”所以真正相爱的人不忍伤害对方。他们希望看到对方开开心心，他们关心对方的情绪，愿意做任何事情让对方感到被重视。

Remember, love is happiness, appreciation, and feeling good. Anything other than that is not love. If we all loved one another as ourselves, the world would be a better place!
请记住：爱是快乐，是感恩，是心情愉悦。除此之外则并非爱。如果我们都能以爱己之心去爱他人，这个世界将会变得更加美好！

You have to do the hard things.
想成功你就得去这些难事：

You have to make the call you’re afraid to make.
你得去打那些你不敢打的电话。

You have to get up earlier than you want to get up.
你得在你想赖床的时候强迫自己早起。

You have to give more than you get in return right away.
你得付出比你当下获得的回报更多。

You have to care more about others than they care about you.
你得比别人在乎你更在乎他们。

You have to fight when you are already injured, bloody, and sore.
哪怕你已经受伤、鲜血淋漓和疼痛难忍，你还是得继续奋斗。

You have to feel unsure and insecure when playing it safe seems smarter.
你得去体会所有不确定和不安全，虽然谨慎求稳会是你当下更聪明的选择。

You have to lead when no one else is following you yet.
你得学会领导，哪怕还没有任何人在跟随你。

You have to invest in yourself even though no one else is.
就算别人不会，你也得投资自己。

You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have.
有时候你得看起来像个傻子，因为你要去追寻那些你没有的答案。

You have to grind out the details when it’s easier to shrug them off.
你得死抠细节，虽然放过它们会更容易。

You have to deliver results when making excuses is an option.
你得展现出成果，虽然你也可以选择找借口。

You have to search for your own explanations even when you’re told to accept the “facts.”
就算有人告诉你要接受那些“事实”，你也得去寻找你自己的解释。

You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot.
你得犯错，让你自己看起来跟个傻子一样。

You have to try and fail and try again.
你得经历努力失败再努力的过程。

You have to run faster even though you’re out of breath.
就算你已经上气不接下气，你还得跑得再快一些。

You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you.
你得友好对待那些残忍对你的人。

You have to meet deadlines that are unreasonable.
你得在那些完全不合理的最后期限前完成任务。

You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong.
就算出了差错，你也得对自己的行为负责。

You have to keep moving towards where you want to be no matter what’s in front of you.
不管你的前面有什么，你也得一直朝着你想要到达的目的地前进。

You have to do the hard things. The things that no one else is doing. The things that scare you. The things that make you wonder how much longer you can hold on.
想成功你就得去这些难事，那些别人不做的事情，那些让你害怕的事情，那些会让想自己到底还能坚持多久的事情。

Those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between living a life of mediocrity or outrageous success.
正是这些难事定义你，正是这些难事区别着平庸和非凡成功两种不同的生活方式。

The hard things are the easiest things to avoid. To excuse away. To pretend like they don’t apply to you.
遇到这些难事，我们最容易采取的行动是避开，是用借口逃开，是假装它们不适合你。

The simple truth about how ordinary people accomplish outrageous feats of success is that they do the hard things that smarter, wealthier, more qualified people don’t have the courage — or desperation — to do.
很简单的事实：普通人是如何取得非凡成就的？他们会做这些难事，这些更聪明、更富有、更有资格的人没有勇气或无法不顾一切拼命去做的事情。

Do the hard things. You might be surprised at how amazing you really are.
去做这些难事吧，你会为自己到底有多棒而感到惊讶的。