we have to say goodbye    

 no rose, no diamond ring, that’s the simple and romantic love stories in college. the graduates have to face the approaching of june, a time to farewell their beloved. when their future is confronted with love, which one is more important? what will the lovers do in june?

没有玫瑰的芬芳，没有钻戒的世俗，这就是大学恋情——纯情而唯美。毕业生不得不面临六月的来临，也就是向心爱的人道别的时刻。当前途与爱情一同遭遇未来，该如何取舍？六月里的恋人会怎么做呢？
don’t cry, my baby

there are so many love stories in college. if the lovers met each other by note passed, the story was called “note love”; if they knew each other in fast food restaurant, then “fast food love”; if they became lovers in a picnic, then “picnic love”. liu bing got to know xiao yu through qq chat, and they got the so-called “qq love”.
their love story started at the end of 2nd grade. liu failed again in cet4 test and felt very upset. so he entered an internet cafe near the school to kill time. while he was roaming about on the net, a stranger asked him through qq, “may i chat with you?” then he began chatting with him or her. liu poured his trouble out and the other side appeased him patiently and asked him not to be discouraged, for there was still chance. after that, they promised to come to chat at 8 every day and it lasted for a week. liu felt very happy. on the seventh day, the other side asked him, “do you want to see me?” liu typed “yes!” without any hesitation. “then you can turn your head back.” and liu saw a lovely girl, whose name is xiao yu.
however, with the approaching graduation they also face a difficult choice. xiao yu is a local girl and her home is in wuhan. while liu bing comes from xi’an. they are both the only child in their family. their parents aren’t against their being together, but both wish their kid being at home. they quarreled about the orientation furiously and the focus of their conflict always was which city they would choose. xi’an or wuhan? they were up a gum tree and couldn’t come to terms.
finally, liu and xiao yu went to the internet cafe and they were still back to back this time. when liu typed out “let’s break up”, xiao yu couldn’t restrain her tears any more.

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still a long way to go

chen li has been unhappy recently. with the coming of graduation, she’s become even more depressed. she and her boyfriend jia hao don’t have a special story; they got to know each other in the library. both of them enjoy learning and staying in the library. they would go to cinema or walk on the streets at weekends. three years have passed quietly. they promised to take the postgraduate exam to beijing at the 3rd grade. unfortunately, chen li failed because of 2 points margin in english.
jia hao wanted chen to go to beijing with him and take exam there. considering the economic condition, chen thought it would be better to stay on campus. on the one hand, the living expense is lower here. on the other hand, she is familiar to the surroundings and can set her heart at studies.
at night, thinking that her lover would leave for beijing, chen li’s tears fell down her cheeks silently, making her pillowslip wet all over. although jia hao encouraged her over and over again that she would succeed at the second try and they would reunion in beijing, however, he said so at the last time. will their love still go on in case she fails?

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a new life for us

different from those sorrowful lovers, ye qing is like a happy bird flying in and out of her dormitory. she and her boyfriend were in the same class in high school. fortunately they both came to beijing though not in the same university. they’re not far from each other, although they can’t be very much in love every day like other love birds. ye qing feels contented that they can spend weekends together. sometimes, ye qing would call her boyfriend and asked him to see her in half an hour and bring some snacks passingly.
her boyfriend majors in the pop communication. he has been employed by a well-known communicating corporation in shenzhen. ye qing hasn’t found a satisfying job, but they’ve planed that she also goes to shenzhen to hunt a job. as a major in economic and trade english, ye thinks it not difficult in finding a job such as secretary or assistant. as far as buying house and car, she told us secretly, “he promised that i needn’t consider that kind of things.”
to the moment they have enough time to wile away. ye has decided it was time to make up for the past 4 years’ loss of romance. now they’ve been shopping around, going to movies and playing badminton every day. seeing her boyfriend being “tortured”, ye felt as happy as a princess in fairy tales.

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point of view

hu juan, graduate of 2002

my love came to the end with the coming of graduation. nobody could taste my sorrow at that time. i felt i lost the man i loved most in the world. such is not the fact. i worked, fell in love with another guy and then got married. looking back on my love in college, i found that we were just in the same camp on entertainment. while my husband and i are living our lives.

liu xiaoming, graduate of 2003

i’ve been married. of course, my wife was my girlfriend in the university. we had been in love for 3 years. compared with other husband and wife, we feel it a superiority to own each other’s past. we would talk about our university life and recall dribs and drabs. whenever we recollect together, we could feel each other’s heartbeat. and the expression in our eyes would become very gentle. the beautiful memory will always nourish our marriage.

li rong, senior

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it’s enough that each love starts with a beautiful beginning. as for whether it will come to an end, i feel it unnecessary to think too much. love out of campus doesn’t always have a happy ending. therefore, when love comes, we should enjoy the pleasure of loving. when love comes to an end, we could also taste its grief of parting. tears taste sweet as long as you love your life.

wang qin, senior

i don’t have a boyfriend, but some boys are wooing me. i feel they’re not my cup of tea, so i refused. i have a wish that they could give me a hug before i leave by train when i graduate. i admire those who are in love on campus and at the same time i felicitate myself on not choosing at random. during the four years in university, as long as you live in earnest, you won’t regret, whether you own love or not, whether your love has future or not.
宝贝，别哭

校园里上演着那么多的爱情故事。如果恋人通过纸条表白爱情，就被称为“白条之恋”；如果他们在快餐店里相识、相恋，就叫“快餐之恋”；如果是在野炊时相爱，当然就是“野炊之恋”了。刘冰是通过qq聊天认识小雨的，也就是所谓的“qq之恋”。
他们的故事开始于大二下半学期。刚开学，刘冰在四级考试中挂了，没有通过，他非常沮丧，就来到学校附近的网吧打发时间。正当他在网上神游时，突然qq上有人问a他：“可以和你聊聊吗？”刘冰就和她聊了起来，其实他还不知道对方是男是女。刘冰将自己的苦恼一倾而出，对方就耐心地开导他，说别灰心，还有机会呢。此后，有一个星期，他们约定每天8点来聊天，刘冰觉得很开心。到了第7天，对方问刘冰：“想见面吗？”刘冰没有任何犹豫地打下一个字：“想！”对方说：“ 那你就回头吧！”于是，刘冰转身就看到了那个可爱的女孩，小雨。
然而，面对毕业，他们却不知道如何选择。小雨的家就在武汉本地，而刘冰来自于西安。作为家里的独生子女，双方父母不反对他们在一起，但都希望儿女能回到自己的身边。他们俩为了毕业后的去向问题吵翻了天，矛盾的焦点是“要留在哪个城市？”。选择西安，还是选择武汉，两人犯难了，而且谁都不肯让步。
最后，刘冰和小雨又去网吧上网聊天，依然是背对背。当刘冰打出“我们分手吧”几个字后，小雨的眼泪再也忍不住了。

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路漫漫其修远兮

晨丽最近郁郁寡欢，看着毕业的日子一天天逼近，越来越无精打采。她和男朋友贾皓的故事没有什么特别的，就是在图书馆认识的。两个爱学习的人，最大的乐趣就是泡图书馆，然后在周末去看看电影，逛逛街。三年下来，倒也平淡。大三时他们就约定一起考研到北京，然而晨丽却因英语2分之差落榜了。
贾皓鼓励晨丽和他一起去北京，然后在北京专职考研。然而考虑到两人的经济状况，晨丽还是觉得留在学校再考比较合适，一方面这里的生活费用相对较低，再者自己也熟悉这里的环境，能安心学习。
夜里想着自己心爱的人就要远赴北京了，晨丽的眼泪就无声无息地流出来了，枕巾被打湿了一大片。尽管贾皓一再鼓励她，说她第二次一定会考上的，那时他们就会在北京相聚。可是，第一次考研时贾皓就是这么鼓励她的，万一她第二次还没考上，那么他们的爱情会怎么样呢？

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新生活在向我们招手

和那些悲伤的恋人不同，叶晴快乐地像只小鸟，整天从宿舍飞进飞出。她和男友是高中同学，虽然高考没考到同一所学校，但幸运的是都考到了北京，而且两个学校也相距不远。虽然不能像别的恋人一样天天卿卿我我，但能在一起快乐地度过周末，对叶晴来说已经很满足了。有时候，实在忍不住，叶晴就给男友打电话，让他半小时内立即赶到，并且带点零食过来。
男友学的是炙手可热的通讯工程，已经被深圳一家有名的通讯企业录取。虽然叶晴还没有找到工作，但他们已经计划好了，就是叶晴也去深圳，然后在深圳找工作。由于学的是经贸英语，叶晴相信找个秘书、助理之类的工作还是没有问题。至于以后买房子、买车子，她偷偷告诉我们：“他已经答应不用我考虑了！”
正好毕业前这一段时间有大把的时间可以挥霍，叶晴决定把过去4年的浪漫损失弥补回来，天天拉着男友逛商场、看电影、打羽毛球，看着男友被折磨的样子，叶晴幸福得像传说中的公主。

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◆ 观点

扈娟 02届毕业生

我的爱情随着毕业而终结，当时的感伤没有人能体会，感觉天底下最爱的人就这样失去了。事实上不是这样的，我工作了，然后恋爱、结婚。现在回过头来审读大学时代的感情，发现那时的我与他，不过是“玩乐”上的志同道合；而与现在的先生，则是生活上的志同道合。

刘小明 03届毕业生

我已经结婚了，老婆当然是大学热恋三年的女友了。我觉得我们比起其他夫妻最大的优势就是拥有对方的过去，隔段时间我们不由自主就会去谈论大学时光，回忆那时的点点滴滴。每当此时，都能感应到对方的心跳，彼此注视的眼神也变得格外柔软。美好的回忆，将滋养我们以后的婚姻之花。

李蓉 大四学生

每一段恋情都以美好开端，这就够了。至于有没有结果，我觉得没必要想那么多。社会上的爱情，也不一定因为美好就有结果啊。所以，爱情来了，我们就享受爱的欢乐；爱情走了，我们就体验爱的离愁。只要热爱生活，泪水也是甜的。

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王琴 大四学生

我没有男朋友，不过追求我的男生倒有几个，我觉得他们不适合我，所以一直拒绝着。我有一个奢望，希望毕业时上车的那一刻，能得到他们的一个拥抱。我羡慕那些拥有校园爱情的同学，也为我自己的宁缺勿滥喝彩。大学四年，用心去过了，就无怨无悔，不论有没有爱情，不论爱情有没有未来。
                      
心酸的浪漫

1．不管你曾经多么内向，你一定要在全班同学面前，认认真真地讲一次话，或者唱一支歌，即使你和开学时一样，再介绍一回你自己。
2．拜访一回你最尊敬的老师，在毕业时，认真地记住一条关于人生的经验。
3．在一个太阳还没有升起来的早晨，去操场跑一次步，和那些生猛的大一新生们比较一下懒觉睡多了后体力上的差距。
4．在宿舍里不要有类似于写“某某到此一游”的行为。
5．下定决心，班集体的活动这次一定不会借故溜走——如果还有的话。
6．很认真地穿一次西装（套装），看看自己和４年前，变化的地方在哪里？
7．花一个下午的时间，认真地整理一次自己的书箱，哪些是可以留的，哪些是不要了的。在某本书里，是不是看见了一张陌生已久的纸条，或者是某人的名字。
8．男生整理衣柜的时候，记得把你的球衣送给你的学弟，cd送给学妹，游戏碟记得自己带走。
9．记得留下每一个你觉得应该是朋友的联系方式，然后把你新单位的电话给他们。
10．终于要走了，再剪一次发，让自己崭崭新新地离开，然后，崭崭新新地开始。
11．记得归还你的证件，陪伴了你４年的桌子、椅子和凳子——我们不提倡你宁愿罚钱也要留下你的图书证、学生证、医疗证、食堂饭卡……但我们对此表示理解。
12．论文答辩可能是你人生当中最后一次的课堂作业了，请你认真地书写每一个字。
13．和你一起睡了４年的床，一定要记得和它合一张影。
14．尽可能地送走每一个你能送的同学，你要明白，他们是你４年的同学，他们中的某人，也许是你最后一次能见到了。

我的祖父和祖母结婚已逾半个世纪，然而多少年来，他们彼此间不倦地玩着一个特殊的游戏：在一个意想不到的地方写下“shmily”这个词留待对方来发现。他们轮换着在屋前房后留下“shmily”，一经对方发现，就开始新的一轮……

by robert rogers

my grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their own special game from the time they had met each other. the goal of their game was to write the word “shmily” in a surprise place for the other to find. they took turns leaving “shmily” around the house, and as soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more.

they dragged “shmily” with their fingers through the sugar and flour containers to await whoever was preparing the next meal. they smeared it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio where my grandma always fed us warm, homemade pudding with blue food coloring. “shmily” was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot shower, where it would reappear bath after bath.

at one point, my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave “shmily” on the very last sheet.

there was no end to the places “shmily” would pop up. little notes with “shmily” scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats, or taped to steering wheels. the notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows.

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“shmily” was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in the ashes of the fireplace. this mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents’ house as the furniture.

it took me a long time before i was able to fully appreciate my grandparents’ game. skepticism has kept me from believing in true love — one that is pure and enduring. however, i never doubted my grandparents’ relationship. it was more than their flirtatious little games; it was a way of life. their relationship as based on a devotion and passionate affection which not everyone is lucky enough to experience.

grandma and grandpa held hands every chance they could. they stole kisses as they bumped into each other in their tiny kitchen. they finished each other’s sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle and word jumble. my grandma whispered to me about how cute my grandpa was, how handsome and old he had grown to be. before every meal they bowed their heads and gave thanks, marveling at their blessings: a wonderful family, good fortune, and each other.

but there was a dark cloud in my grandparents’ life: my grandmother had breast cancer. the disease had first appeared ten years earlier. as always, grandpa was with her every step of the way. he comforted her in their yellow room, painted that way so that she could always be surrounded by sunshine, even when she was too sick to go outside.

now the cancer was again attacking her body. with the help of a cane and my grandfather’s steady hand, they went to church every morning. but my grandmother grew steadily weaker until, finally, she could not leave the house anymore. for a while, grandpa would go to church alone, praying to god to watch over his wife.

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then one day, what we all dreaded finally happened. grandma was gone.

“shmily.” it was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my grandmother’s funeral bouquet. as the crowd thinned and the last mourners turned to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members came forward and gathered around grandma one last time. grandpa stepped up to my grand-mother’s casket and, taking a shaky breath, he began to sing to her. through his tears and grief, the song came, a deep and throaty lullaby.

shaking with my own sorrow, i will never forget that moment. for i knew that, although i couldn’t begin to fathom the depth of their love, i had been privileged to witness its unmatched beauty. shmily: see how much i love you.

爱情是一部电话，渴望它响起时，它却总是悄无声息；不经心留意时，它又叮铃铃的响起。因此，我们经常错过另一端传来的温馨的甜蜜。

爱情这部电话机，第一次使用，会令你紧张，激动不已，不是倒拿了电话筒，就是拨错了号码。等你不再紧张激动的时候，往往不知道该给谁打电话为好。

love is a telephone which always keeps silent when you are longing for a call, but rings when you are not ready for it. as a result, we often miss the sweetness from the other end.

love is a telephone which is seldom program-controlled or directly dialed. you cannot get an immediate answer by a mere “hello”, let alone go deep into your lover’s heart by one call. usually it had to be relayed by an operator, and you have to be patient in waiting. destiny is the operator of this phone, who is always irresponsible and fond of laying practical jokes to which she may make you a lifelong victim intentionally or unintentionally.

love is a telephone which is always busy, when you are ready to die for love, you only find, to your disappointment, the line is already occupied by someone else, and you are greeted only by a busy line. this is an eternal regret handed down from generation to generation and you are only one of those who languish for followers.

love is telephone, but it is difficult to seize the center time for dialing, and you will let slip the opportunity if your call is either too early or too late.

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love is a telephone which is not always associated with happiness. honeyed words are transmitted by sound waves, but when the lovers are brought together, the phone servers no purpose that many lovers observe that marriage is the doom of love.

love is a telephone which, when you use it for the first time, makes you so nervous and excited that you either hold the receiver upside down or dial the wrong number. by the time you’ve calmed down, you will beat a loss to whom you should make the call.

love is a telephone which often has crossed lines. and this usually happens to you unexpectedly. your time will either cross or be crossed. both cases are refereed to as “triangle”. fortunately, all such occurrences are transient.

john blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through grand central station. he looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn’t, the girl with the rose. his interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a florida library. taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. the soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. in the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner’s name, miss hollis maynell. with time and effort he located her address. she now lived in new york city. he wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. the next day he was shipped overseas for service in world war ii. during the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. a romance was budding. blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. she felt that if he really cared, it wouldn’t matter what she looked like. when the day finally came for him to return from europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 pm at the grand central station in new york. “you’ll recognize me,” she wrote, “by the red rose i’ll be wearing on my lapel.” so at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he’d never seen.

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i’ll let mr. blanchard tell you what happened:

a young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. i started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. as i moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. “going my way, sailor?” she murmured. almost uncontrollably i made one step closer to her, and then i saw hollis maynell.

she was standing almost directly behind the girl. a woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. she was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. the girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. i felt as though i was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. and there she stood. her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. i did not hesitate.

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my fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. this would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which i had been and must ever be grateful. i squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while i spoke i felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment.

“i’m lieutenant john blanchard, and you must be miss maynell. i am so glad you could meet me; may i take you to dinner?”

the woman’s face broadened into a tolerant smile. “i don’t know what this is about, son,” she answered, “but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. and she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, i should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. she said it was some kind of test!”

it’s not difficult to understand and admire miss maynell’s wisdom. the true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive.

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“tell me whom you love,” houssaye wrote, “and i will tell you who you are.”

约翰·布兰查德从长凳上站起身来，整了整军装，留意着格兰德中央车站进出的人群。

他在寻找一位姑娘，一位佩带玫瑰的姑娘。他知其心，但不知其貌。十二个月前，在佛罗里达州的一个图书馆，他对她产生了兴趣。他从书架上取下一本书，很快便被吸引住了，不是被书的内容，而是被铅笔写的眉批。柔和的笔迹显示出其人多思善虑的心灵和富有洞察力的头脑。

在书的前页，他找到了前一位拥有人的姓名，霍利斯·梅奈尔小姐。他花了一番工夫和努力，找到了她的地址。她住在纽约市。他给她写了一封信介绍自己，并请她回复。第二天他被运往海外，参加第二次世界大战。

在接下来的一年当中，两人通过信件来往增进了了解。每一封信都如一颗种子撒入肥沃的心灵之土。浪漫的爱情之花就要绽开。布兰查德提出要一张照片，可她拒绝了。她解释道：“如果你对我的感情是真实的，是诚心诚意的，那我的相貌如何并不重要。设想我美丽动人。我将会一直深感不安，惟恐你只是因为我的容貌就贸然与我相爱，而这种爱情令我憎恶。设想本人相貌平平（你得承认，这种可能性更大）。那我一直会担心，你和我保持通信仅仅是出于孤独寂寞，无人交谈。不，别索要照片。等你到了纽约，你会见到我，到时你可再作定夺。且记，见面后我俩都可以自由决定中止关系或继续交往 —— 无论你怎么选择……”

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他从欧洲回国的日子终于到了。他们安排了两人的第一次见面 —— 晚上七点， 纽约格兰德中央车站。

“你会认出我的，” 她写道，“我会在衣襟上戴一朵红玫瑰。” 于是，晚上七点，他候在车站，寻找一位过去一年里在自己生活中占据了如此特殊地位的姑娘，一位素未谋面，但其文字伴随着他、始终支撑着他精神的姑娘。

且让布兰查德先生告诉你接下来发生的事吧：
一位年轻的姑娘向我走来，她身材颀长纤细。一头卷曲的金发披在秀美的耳后；眼睛碧蓝，如花似玉。她的双唇和下颌线条柔和，却又柔中见刚，她身穿浅绿色套装，犹如春天一般生气盎然。

我朝她走去，完全忘了去看她有没有戴玫瑰花。

我走过去时，她双唇绽开撩人的微笑。“和我同路吗，水兵？”她小声问道。我情不自禁，再向她走近一步。可就在这时，我看到了霍利斯·梅奈尔。她差不多就站在姑娘的正后面，早已年过四十，灰白的头发用卡子向上别着，头上带着一顶旧帽子。

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她体态臃肿，粗圆的脚踝上套着一双低跟鞋。

穿着绿色套装的姑娘快步走开了。我觉得自己好像被分成了两半，一方面热切地想去追赶她，但另一方面我又渴望那一位以其心灵真诚陪伴我并成为我的精神支柱的女人。

她站在那儿，苍白的圆脸显得温柔理智，灰色的眼睛透出热情善良。我没有迟疑。

我手里紧握着那本小小的让她辨认我的蓝色羊皮面旧书。这不会是爱情，但将是某种珍贵的、或许比爱情更美妙的东西，一种我曾经感激，并将永远感激的友情。

我挺胸站立，敬了个礼，并举起手中的书好让那位女士看。不过在我开口说话的时候，失望的痛苦几乎使我哽咽。“我是约翰·布兰查德中尉，想必您就是梅奈尔小姐。很高兴您来见我。可否请您赏光吃饭？”

妇女的脸上绽开了笑容。“我不知道是怎么回事，孩子，”她回答说，“可是刚才走过去的那位穿绿色套装的姑娘，她央求我把这支玫瑰插在衣服上。她还说，要是你请我吃饭的话，我就告诉你，她就在街对面那个大饭店里等你。她说这是一种考验！”

梅奈尔小姐的智慧不难理解，也令人称奇。心灵的本质是从其对不美的事物的态度中反映出来的。

“告诉我你所爱者是谁，”何赛写道，“我就知道你是什么样的人。”

1. When you lose touch with your inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.
1. 当你失去了内心的坚持，便失去了自己。当你失去了自己，世界也会把你遗忘。

2. The giving of love is an education in itself.
2. 给予别人关爱是一种教育。

3. The purpose of life, is to love it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.
3. 人生的目标，是热爱生活，尝尽世间百态，热情接触新事物以及不惧更新更丰富的经历。

4. For me, every hour is grace. And I feel gratitude in my heart each time I meet someone and look at his or her smile.
4. 对我来说，每分钟都是那么美好。而且每当我看到别人的笑容，都会在心中深深感恩。

5. The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.
5. 灵魂应该始终整装待发，准备好接受奇妙的经历。

6. I know of no greater happiness than to be with you all the time, without interruption, without end.
6. 我所知的最幸福的事，就是能整日与你在一起，没有打扰，没有终局。

7. When the deepest part of you becomes engaged in what you are doing, when your activities and actions become gratifying and purposeful, when what you do serves both yourself and others, you are doing what you were meant to be doing.
7. 当内心的最深处真正融入你正在做的事，当你的行动变得令人满意、目标明确，当你做的事利己利人，那你正在做命中注定的事了。

8. Your pain is an opportunity for you to learn about yourself.
8. 痛苦是一个了解你自己的机会。

9. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.
9. 能在这个世界上获得成功的人是早晨起床后寻找他们想要的机遇，如果他们找不到的话，就自己创造。

10. A good time to laugh is anytime you can.
10. 什么时候是欢笑的好时候，任何时候。

不要因为自己的缺陷而自卑，如果懂得加以利用，有时候你最大的弱点甚至会变成你最大的强项。下文这个小男孩虽然没有左臂，但是却赢得了柔道比赛冠军，他的秘诀在哪呢？

Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength. Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn’t understand why, after three months of training, the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "shouldn’t I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you’ll ever need to know," the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament.

Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match.
Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a timeout. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

"No," the sensei insisted, "let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a big mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy gathered the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you’ve almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. Second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm."
The boy’s biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

 

The mind is a powerful thing, and in a nanosecond, it can elevate or crush our mood. There’s a real problem when we start buying into the negative thoughts we have about ourselves。
我们的内心非常强大，在一瞬间就会提升或毁掉我们的心情。而真正的问题在于，如何将内心深处那些消极想法通通赶出去。

Many of us have problems with negative thoughts playing on the channel of our minds, but if you’re engaging in it consistently, and you believe it, it could be eroding your sense of self-esteem. Here are a few beliefs that indicate you may need to switch the station:
很多人脑海中都会不断浮现消极的想法，更糟糕的是，如果你真的时不时地去想，你就会信以为真，这足以摧毁你的自尊。如果你也会出现下面这些消极观念，那就代表你应该做点改变了。

I’m a loser.  我是个失败者。

I’m not good enough. 我不够好。

I don’t deserve….  我不配….。.

No one likes me.  没人喜欢我。

I suck at relationships. 我不会处理感情。

I’m a failure. 我太失败了。

Negative thoughts conjures up bad feelings and hooks you into believing that what those old tapes in your head are playing is actually true. In short, it brings your focus to your failures, and that gets you nowhere。
消极的想法会带来不好的感受，在那脑海中不断的像老式磁带一般重复，也会让你信以为真。简而言之，这会让你把注意力全部放在失败的事情上，会让你彻底迷失自己。

What can you do? Here are some suggestions:你能做些什么呢？下面是一些建议：

1. Live in the moment活在当下

Self-talk is so subtle that we often don’t notice its effect on our mood and belief systems. Key things to notice are “if only or “what if” statements: the former keep you stuck in the past with regret, while the latter keep you fearful of the future. There is nothing you can do about the past, and the future isn’t here yet, so stay in the present moment。
内心的声音太微妙，有时我们根本不会注意到他们对情绪和信念产生的影响。最需要注意的就是“要是….。.多好” 和“假使….。.将会怎样” 这样的想法：前者会让你陷入对过去无尽的悔恨，后者会让你对未来充满恐惧。对于过去，你无能为力，而未来还未到来，好好活在当下吧。

2. Visualize the good things让那些美好变得形象生动

If we want to change the negative tapes playing in our heads, we have to visualize ourselves positively—that means seeing yourself non-judgmentally. Picture accepting yourself. How would that look? Draw a picture in your mind and expand on it。
如果要换掉脑海中不断播放的消极磁带，我们就要看到自己身上积极的一面，也就是说不带评判的看看自己。在内心细细描述客观接受自己会是什么的画面。细细画出心中所想，那会是什么样？

3. Recognize that actions always follow beliefs要认识到行为由信念指引

Whatever you believe, you’ll experience more of, and you’ll also find yourself behaving in ways that are congruent with your beliefs. So, start believing the best about yourself: act as if you believe that you’re a valuable and worthy person。
不管你是否相信，你以后的人生会经历更多，也会发现自己的行为和信念是相辅相成的。所以要开始相信自己最好的一面：相信自己是一个有价值的人，然后开始行动吧。

4. Pay attention to triggers留神那些“导火索”

Triggers are anything that can start the old tapes playing. If a certain person is a trigger for you, set boundaries with them。导火索可以使任何让脑海中消极磁带播放的人。如果某个人是你的导火索，那么就远离他们。

5. Develop positive counterstatements to refute negative self-talk积极反驳内心那些消极的声音

Instead of always putting yourself down in your head, think of some things you actually like about yourself. What are your strengths, what are you good at? Keep your counterstatements in the here-and-now, instead of saying “I’m not good enough” try saying, “I am capable. I’m good at __. I accept myself the way I am。”
与其在脑海中一味的打压自己，还不如想想你到底喜欢自己什么样子。你的强项是什么，特长是什么？与其说“我不够好”，不如现在就开始说这句正能量的话语：“我有能力，我擅长….，我喜欢现在的自己。”

Thinking poorly about ourselves gets us nowhere and is extremely self-limiting. Decide today to turn off the negative self-talk channel in your mind and develop your true potential。
妄自菲薄只会让自己迷失方向，同时限制自身发展。从今天开始就关掉内心的消极频道，挖掘自身的潜力吧。

相互牵挂相互祝福，是很幸福的一件事。心有所托情有所系，平静的日子里心湖偶泛涟漪，总胜似一潭死水的沉寂。
 It’s a happy thing to concern about each other and exchange best wishes with each other. In a tranquil life, it is always better to have something weighing on your mind than to bear the soul of a stagnant tide.

你说喜欢我呀，我相信。我也喜欢你呀，心情不佳或有得意之事时，很乐于让你知道，你也很乐于倾听的样子。就这样，相互喜欢，分享喜悦，安慰忧伤，开解烦恼。就这般游离现实，多了条情感的依赖线。依赖中，就有了不小心不脱俗的喜欢，喜欢也就喜欢了。
You say you like me. I believe it. And I like you, too. When I’m in a bad or good mood, I’d like to tell you and you are willing to listen. As time goes by, we like each other, share with each other, comfort each other, and dissolve irritations with each other. We are free from reality, adding one more dependent line of emotion. The feeling of like emerges gradually in the days of dependence.

喜欢，就是不说爱。不说爱，不只是因为没有了再说爱的权利。爱，实在不是一个轻松的字眼，爱需要一份执着，一份忠贞，甚至一个承诺。喜欢就不同了，欣赏的可以说喜欢，迷恋的可以说喜欢，糊里糊涂的爱也可以说喜欢呀。
Like is talking about everything but love. Not saying love, it’s not only because there is no right to say “I love you”. To be honest, love is complicated. It needs perseverence, loyalty, and even promise. Whereas like is appreciation, addiction, and ambiguousness.

喜欢，少了爱的盲从，多了微笑的欣赏；喜欢，少了相思的煎熬，多了从容的洒脱；喜欢，少了无奈的牵绊，多了信任的融洽；喜欢，少了沉重的责任，多了超浪漫的的轻松；喜欢，少了付出后的刻骨铭心的伤害，多了失去后的理智的无动于衷。
Like is less blind obedience and more appreciation, less suffering and more grace, less hindrance and more trust, less responsibility and more amusement, less mischief and more rationality.

喜欢是一种特别的感觉，一种轻松的感觉，由心而升的一种欢喜。一种相见的喜欢，似一种淡淡的亲情，也似一种醇醇的友情，更似一份浓浓的爱意，可就是不用说爱的喜欢。喜欢，不用矜持，不用顾虑太多，更不用顾及过去与将来，只要这一刻愉悦快乐。
 Like is a kind of special feeling, a feeling of relaxation, and a burst of real joy. It appears to be a touch of affection, friendship and love, but needless to say. You don’t have to be reserved, or considerate, and even to care about the past and future, but to entertain at the moment.

喜欢，是自己的事情，不干别人的事。人生最精华的时光，亦再没有了说爱的权利，成熟稳重中又不失浪漫，不会再如孩子似的异想天开，可也依然憧憬着一切的美好。遇到了优秀的人，遇到了心仪的人，就可以放纵自己的喜欢，收敛那一丝丝爱意，多一点点欣赏，多一点点喜欢。
Like is to do things of your own, not others. The most golden moment of lifetime, yet has no right to say love, turns out to be mature and romantic, not so naive but still looking forward to all the good. When you encounter the good person you favor, you can reveal your preference, with a little love and more appreciation inside.

喜欢，出口也没有爱那么难，面对那么一点点的距离，只要那么一点点的心细，那么一点点的胆量，那么一点点的勇气，就可敞开心扉说出我喜欢。
Like, when you speak out, is not so hard as that of love. It needs only a little distance, caution and courage to say I like you.

只说喜欢，就多了那么一份弥久，那么一份淡定，那么一份从容，那么一份清新，那么一份淡雅，那么一份飘逸。喜欢，醉人醉己！喜欢，就是不说爱！
Just saying I like you, you will be a little more endurant, calm, fresh, and elegant. Like is enjoying yourself and saying no to love.

                                                            假如这都不算爱……
　　
　　a girl and a boy were on a motorcycle,speeding through the night.
　　一天夜里，男孩骑摩托车带着女孩超速行驶
　　
　　they loved each other a lot..
　　他们彼此深爱着对方
　　
　　girlslow down a little..i’m scared..
　　女孩：“慢一点…我怕…”
　　
　　boy:no,it’ssofun..
　　男孩：“不，这样很有趣….”
　　
　　girl:please…it’s so scary..
　　女孩：“求求你…这样太吓人了…”
　　
　　boythen say that you love me..
　　男孩：“好吧，那你说你爱我…”
　　
　　girlfine..ilove you..can you slow down now
　　女孩：“好….我爱你…你现在可以慢下来了吗？”
　　
　　boygive me a big hug..
　　男孩：“紧紧抱我一下…”
　　
　　the girl gave him a big hug.
　　女孩紧紧拥抱了他一下
　　
　　girlnow can you slow down
　　女孩：“现在你可以慢下来了吧？”
　　
　　boycan you take off my helmetandputitonit’suncomfortable
　　andit’s bothering me while idrive.
　　男孩：“你可以脱下我的头盔并自己戴上吗？它让我感到不舒服，还干扰我驾车。”
　　
　　then next day,there was a story in the newspaper.amotorcycl ehad
　　crashed into a building because it sbrakes were broken.
　　第二天，报纸报道：一辆摩托车因为刹车失灵而撞毁在一幢建筑物上
　　
　　there were two people on the motorcycle,of which one died,and
　　the other had survived…
　　车上有两个人，一个死亡，一个幸存…
　　
　　the guy knew that the brakes were broken.he didn’t want to let
　　the girlk now,because he knew that the girl would have gotten scared.
　　驾车的男孩知道刹车失灵，但他没有让女孩知道，因为那样会让女孩感到害怕。
　　
　　instead,he was told the last time that she loved him,got a hug
　　from her,put his helmetonher so that she can live,and die himself…
　　相反，他让女孩最后一次说她爱他，最后一次拥抱他，并让她戴上自己的头盔，结果，女孩活着，他自己死了…
　　
　　once in a while,right in the middle of anordinary life,love
　　gives usafairytale…
　　就在一会的时间里，就在平常的生活里，爱向我们展示了一个神话

romance does not necessarily have to fade away in the long-term relationships and transform into a friendship-type love, according to a new study. romantic love can last a lifetime and lead to even happier, stronger and healthier relationships.

据一项新的研究称，爱情并不一定由于长时间的相处而变淡，或是转变为朋友式的爱情。浪漫的爱情可以持续一生，还可以让双方关系更融洽，更牢固，更健康。

the study’s lead researcher, bianca p. acevedo, phd, from the university of california, santa barbara, said that many people identify romantic love as passionate love, which, in her opinion, is not true. the scientist explained that romantic love has the same intensity, involvement and sexual chemistry, that has the passionate love, with the exception of an obsession. obsessive love is always accompanied by feelings such as anxiety and uncertainty, and never survives for a long time.

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这项研究的首席研究员，来自美国加州大学圣巴巴拉分校的bianca p. acevedo博士说，许多人认定浪漫的爱情就是充满激情的爱，但是在她看来却不是这样。科学家解释说，浪漫的爱情与充满激情的爱情（迷恋不包括在内）同样强烈，同样需要性。迷恋总是伴随着焦虑，不安，而且持续的时间也不长。

to come up with this conclusion, dr. acevedo and co-author arthur aron, phd, analyzed 25 studies with more than 6,000 individuals that were engaged in the short-term and long-lterm relationships. the researchers planned to figure out if romantic love was associated with more satisfaction in a relationship. in several studies, the relationships were classified as romantic, passionate/obsessive, or friendship-like love, and categorized as the short- or long-term.

为了得出这一结论，acevedo博士与合著者arthur aron博士分析了超过6000人参与的关于短时间的和长时间的恋爱关系的25项研究。研究者想要弄明白浪漫的爱情是否与相处时的满足感相关。在一些研究中，恋爱关系被分为浪漫式，激情式/迷恋式，或朋友式的爱情，也有的按恋爱时间长短分为短时间和长时间的恋爱。

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the first study involved 17 short-term relationships of single, dating or married college students with the ages between 18 and 23, whose relationships lasted less than 4 years. the second study analyzed 10 long-term relationships of middle-aged couples, with the marriage experience of 10 years or more. 

第一项研究对17对恋爱时间持续不到四年的单身的，在约会的情侣，或是已婚的18至23岁间大学生进行研究。第二项研究的对象则是十对结婚超过十年的中年夫妇。

the results revealed that those individuals who said that they had a great romantic love, were much more satisfied in both the short- and long-term relationships. participants from both the short- and long-term relationships, who reported that their love was mostly based on friendship, only moderately associated their relationship with complete satisfaction, and those who reported passionate love in their relationships, were more likely to be satisfied for the short period of time, rather than the long term. also, couples who expressed the most satisfaction with their partner, turned out to be much happier and had higher self-esteem.

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最后的结果表明，说自己的爱情很浪漫的人无论是在短时间还是在长时间的恋爱关系中都倍感满足；说自己的爱情是基于友情的人只有通过一定的调节来获得完全满足；充满激情的爱情相较于长时间的恋爱，更容易在短时间的相处中让双方获得满足。还有一点就是，对自己的伴侣越是满意的人，心情越是愉悦，对自己也越是自信。

according to dr. acevedo, when partners feel and know that they are there for each other, it always creates a strong bond between them, and leads to a good relationship, which, in turn, contributes to stronger feelings of romantic love. on the contrary, when people start feeling insecure and jealous, they start also experiencing less satisfaction, which in many cases leads to misunderstandings and conflicts in the relationships.

acevedo称，当恋人双方感知到对方随时都在自己身边时，双方间的牵绊会更深，关系会更融洽，这也会使他们的爱情更加的浪漫。相反，当人们开始感到不安和嫉妒时，便开始产生不满情绪，这样将会导致误会和冲突的产生。

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this new findings may change people’s perceptions and expectations of what they really want in long-term relationships. partners should fight for their love with all the possible means, acevedo said. and couples who have been together for many years and wish to rekindle their romantic feelings, should remember that this is an attainable goal that requires patience, energy and devotion.

这一新发现可能会改变人们对爱情的看法和在长期恋爱关系中的期望。acevedo说，恋爱双方应该尽可能地争取他们的爱。对于那些已经在一起很多年又想要重燃爱火的老夫老妻来说，他们要记住的是，要达到这一目标需要双方有耐心，有精力，也要懂得为对方付出。